whenever i’m looking up stuff on the internet about what to do if i think i’m pregnant…everything’s mostly geared towards women who are trying to get pregnant… and then i reevaluate my life.
also remember this: when D was like “all i texted him back was ‘Haha and yeah’. i barely read what he even said.”
what did our box of colored pencils look like?
“where are the color pencils? the color pencils?”
i think sammy likes to rub her belly all over the carpet and rub her neck all over the carpet and on towels because it’s a stress reliever and it might even be nostalgic for her. it probably reminds her of her childhood..or puppyhood.. when she would run around in the master bedroom in our house on mill dam place, and there was carpet. and after baths she would get really happy and run around frantically when we tried to dry her with a towel. i feel like hardwood floor stresses her out a little bit (like when we’d go to the harrison’s house and she’d have a miserable time fighting with speck or competing for attention, or pooping somewhere because of how scared she was and consequently getting scolded). she loves carpet, rugs, and towels.
nostalgic.
attic. fun attic with a ceiling, painted blue with white fluffy clouds… very few barbies, stick-on earrings that look yummy… sticky, sweaty hands plus Goldie teddy bear don’t match… mommy…… some yogurt/frosting stuff with sprinkles… just staring at the ceiling, really close to the ceiling like sitting on a top bunk… not realizing at this young age that you’ll never have this real moment again, only one way later on that reminds you of it, like if you listen to “walking on a dream” or watch Napoleon dynamite or read some sad blog post that isn’t even sad, but makes you feel sad… not sad, but nostalgic. which is different from sad, but close to it.
my friend cristina was telling me about how she read that kurt cobain is the greatest songwriter of all time, and she was confused about it though, calling it b.s. because a lot of his lyrics just didn’t seem to make sense and it sounded like nonsense and kurt even said himself he’d forget his lyrics on stage and cared more about his melody than what the words were.
at first i was like “yeahh”. but what is songwriting? i honestly don’t have any experience in songwriting besides that lame-ass phase in seventh grade when i tried and it ended up sounding like school-taught poetry. but i know when i hear a song that was written well. there are classical pieces i’ve heard/learned that spoke to me, even though they lack lyrics. the little crescendos and staccatos and everything are what gives that music meaning.
cristina was like “okay, NOW i see why you’re always like ‘i like this part in this song when it goes like this and then goes back to normal!’”
in “about a girl” when he goes “but i can’t see you every night” sounds so sad, sadder than the rest of the song, because it goes like up a little bit, and then it goes back to the way the song is.
that’s what i meannntt when i first listened to lithium and i felt what he was singing. he sounds kinda sarcastic and apathetic throughout the song like when he’s like “i’m so ugly…..that’s okay, cuz so are you” or “i’m so horny…that’s okay, my will is good.” and then the “yeah yeah yeah” chorus part sounds careless. and then the part where he’s like “i miss you, i’m not gonna crack, i love you, i’m not gonna crack” is the most honest part of the whole song, cristina pointed out. the verses were a little kinder, but that part is where he’s just flat out honest. and you can tell from the melody of it, not just the lyrics, because it’s like the melody is rolling its eyes at that part, like “i LIKE it, i’m not gonna crack”. it’s so beautiful.
songwriting is a huge concept! like how screenwriting for movies is also a huge concept but now i’ll stop before i talk about everything in the world again.
two people were shot and killed at our school today.
omg this world sucks sometimes. violence is soooooooo not cool.. it never was, but i feel like these days it’s just even more disgusting to hear about, probably because everything in close proximity to me has seemed so peaceful recently. people need to stop being so angry. it ruins everyone’s day.. why would you want that?
if i could have any job, i’d wanna be the people who do brain-studies. all those studies you read about, that would be so much fun to be doing them.
